Two weekends ago now, I was in the hospital, as you may know. I took the past week to recover and have been back in Ljubljana since Sunday night and have been going to my language course.
Before the whole incident took place, I had had a stressful week because there was something on my mind. Where should I go to college? This thought, and the many that came along with it, put me under a lot of stress. I was consumed with the decision that lay before me. My friend Lili was right, this was truly the hardest part.
I had narrowed it down to three schools: the University of North Texas, the Fashion Institute of Technology, and Azusa Pacific University. Three very different schools, three very different locations. I was overwhelmed, to say the least. I talked to my parents and friends and they all said very different things, albeit helpful.
When the weekend came, I prayed on the drive down to Crikvenica that college would not be on my mind. That I wouldn’t think about the decision or be overwhelmed by it but instead be present with my friends and cousins that weekend.
Well, being sick and stuck in a hospital definitely took that decision off my mind! When it was all over, it was like I had a clean slate. All the thoughts and pros and cons lists from last week sort of vanished after that experience. I had more clarity afterward. It’s easier for me to just tell you where I’m going now instead of saving it for the end in order to make the storytelling easier.
I have decided to attend Azusa Pacific University in California this coming fall! And I could not be more excited about this decision. It’s really quite cool how this all came about, let me tell you about it.
I applied to this school on a whim. The school had emailed me directly and said I was apart of their “invitation only application.” I have no idea what I did to qualify for this. I had shown no real interest in the school previously and had only visited the website from what I recall. But the application was free so I thought why not? Might as well have another option. I didn’t do a whole lot of research and didn’t even know the tuition rate. When people asked me why I applied there, I said (somewhat ashamed) that it was because they sent me an “invitation only application.” What kind of reason is that?
There were times when I thought to myself: Why did I even apply to that school? It’s not like I’m actually going to go there. What a shame that I wasted a whole $17 by sending them my transcript and SAT score. And without even telling my dad that I used his money to do it? (sorry pop)
The week before I’d left for Crikvenica, my eyes were set on the Fashion Institute of Technology. It’s located in New York City, which was the biggest appeal for me. UNT was more of a backup, but I was still considering it. Each school and its appeals and drawbacks. The big problem with FIT for me was the major I chose. This school is very rigid about majors. When applying, you have to choose one and you’re pretty much stuck with it. I called the school the Thursday before I left in hopes of changing to a different major because the one I applied for really didn’t appeal to me anymore, but the program I wanted to switch to was full.
This helped get my mind off of FIT. I was disappointed at first. I really thought that’s what I wanted, but knowing I would likely be miserable in terms of what I’d be studying made it easier to let go of. With UNT, my thoughts varied a lot. There were many reasons why I thought I would like the school, but I ultimately realized that I was just too comfortable with the idea of it. I wouldn’t be leaving my comfort zone at all, and for me personally, it’s way too close to home.
Last Monday I talked to my admissions counselor over the phone for Azusa because I had some questions. He was super friendly and we had a good chat. I realized how much this school had to offer and started to become excited over the thought of going there. We also went over the financial plan which surprised me, to say the least. They’re giving me how much??? Wow, they must really want me there. Feels good since all these other schools seem to not care much about me or have rejected me altogether.
My cousin Mirjam also went to Azusa Pacific, so being in Prekmurje gave me an opportunity to talk with her about it. I got to hear about her experiences and better understand what the school is like. By the end of that day (last Tuesday) I pretty much knew where I was going.
The week before my hospitalization I was barely even considering Azusa. Then after it seemed like the doors to that school just flung right open. It was so obvious. I am so beyond grateful and excited. I had prayed many times that the Lord would make it clear where he wanted me, yet I didn’t think I would come to a decision as soon as I did.
A few years ago, I said to my mom that I would never want to live in California. It’s too liberal, the economy is bad, there always seems to be drought happening. Little did I know. It’s funny the places the Lord leads us. It’s cool to see how he does it. The school I thought I was just applying to as a “backup” for the sole reason that they offered me a free application is now the school that I’m going to this fall.
I often wonder about the future. I had always wondered about this decision. I wondered for months and months about which college I would end up at, and now I know. I must say, it’s not as crazy of a feeling as I thought it would be. But there are still times when it hits me. I’m finally getting to go back to school! In California!! At Azusa Pacific University!!!
I am so grateful and blessed. Thanks be to God who has provided me this opportunity and has made it so clear that this is where he wants me to be.